Arguments and health: how hostile conflict slows wound healing
Social ConnectionKey points
- After a hostile argument, wounds healed more slowly.
- In highly hostile couples, healing was at 60% of the speed.
- Hostile conflict was linked to higher inflammatory markers.
- It is not conflict itself but its style that matters.
What the study showed
At Ohio State University, Janice Kiecolt-Glaser and colleagues gave 42 married couples small blister wounds on the arm, then had them have a supportive discussion one visit and a discussion of a marital disagreement another visit. Wounds healed more slowly after conflict discussions. Couples who were highly hostile across both visits healed at only about 60% of the rate of low-hostility couples and had higher levels of inflammatory cytokines (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 2005).
A meta-analysis of 126 studies found that higher marital quality is linked to better health (Robles et al., 2014), and social support buffers the effects of stress (Cohen & Wills, 1985).
How to argue in a healthier way
- Start gently and focus on the problem, not the person.
- Avoid contempt, sarcasm and name-calling.
- Take a break when emotions run high, then come back.
- Repair afterward: apologize, show appreciation.
Frequently asked questions
Is it better to avoid arguing?
No. Avoiding conflict entirely can also be harmful. The goal is to disagree respectfully and repair afterward.
What are signs of a healthy argument?
Staying on topic, listening, avoiding contempt and name-calling, taking breaks and making up.
Sources
- Kiecolt-Glaser et al. (2005). Hostile Marital Interactions, Proinflammatory Cytokine Production, and Wound Healing. Archives of General Psychiatry 62(12):1377. doi:10.1001/archpsyc.62.12.1377
- Robles et al. (2014). Marital quality and health: A meta-analytic review.. Psychological Bulletin 140(1):140-187. doi:10.1037/a0031859
- Cohen et al. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis.. Psychological Bulletin 98(2):310-357. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310
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